(Family Constellation Therapy. Courtesy Wikipedia.) – Family Constellation Therapy (also known as Systemic Constellations, Systemic Design and Family Soul) is a humanistic and holistic therapeutic method, which its founder and perpetuator Bert Hellinger calls a ‘blessed therapy’. As the name suggests, it involves family and ancestral constellations through which hidden dynamics become apparent and family conflicts are resolved.
Today it is a very popular approach to therapy. Many therapists use it in their practices, but some consider it closer to an action method for rtual rather than a real therapeutic form. However, in what follows we will see that this approach is indeed therapeutic and delivers results despite its non-conventional and memorable nature. In this article, I will provide information about Family Constellation and explain some of its premises and techniques along with some useful resources. Let’s begin our journey!
1. Understanding Family Constellation Therapy
Family Constellation Therapy, also known as Systemic Constellations, is a holistic therapy that works with systemic factors within the family. The central idea is that unresolved patterns or issues in one aspect of the family system can impact or even traumatise other members of the family. This therapy makes it possible for you to make connections to understand what was once hidden in your family and find a way to resolve signs of lingering transmission.
2. Seek Proper Training
Before you can start practising Family Constellation Therapy in a clinical setting, you should be trained (see Training and Therapists below). Learn it only from experienced facilitators, because it is deep methodology, and ease of learning does not necessarily lead to mastery. Sign up for workshops, seminars and training according to what is available.
3. Create a Safe Space
An important part of Family Constellation Therapy is to attend to the environment: make sure participants feel safe, so that you can enter their confidence and they can feel open to the process. Confidentiality and discretion is obligatory – sometimes the issues that become apparent are very sensitive.
4. Preparation and Setup
Knowing as much as you can in advance about the client’s family of origin and the presenting issue will prepare you for the session. But, before you begin, visualise the family system. Lay out figurines or floor markers to represent your family members, according to specific rules. Then, use group members to play the parts of family members. Now you’re ready to bring the family to life.
5. Facilitating the Constellation
Family members’ roles should be embodied (‘Inside of you is your brother, your sister, your mother and your father. How does it feel?’). Many people want to ensure a ‘perfect’ family formation; however, the magic happens if we work with the energy that emerges. Let go of your own agenda and observe thirsty parts of the system Integrate the perspective of Imago relationship therapy Advice: Congratulate yourself – you have laid a strong foundation. Remember that the facilitator’s words are just a raindrop on the lotus leaf.
6. Respect the System’s Wisdom
The most important element in FCT is the idea of respecting the wisdom of the system. This means believing in the power of the process and allowing the therapeutic work to unfold itself. The system has its own resources, which are often hidden. It will resolve its dilemmas if only we allow it to do so. Let’s unpack this principle a little further.
Recognition of the System’s Intelligence: All families have a systemic intelligence and order. In any family relating, there are underlying patterns, primary loyalties and connections that are invisible on the surface. Often, these dynamics are not clear to the members of the family who are unaware of related acquaintances, or unaware that the acquaintance’s fate in some way is intertwined with the family’s order.
Non-interference: Regardless of the scenario, a Family Constellation facilitator does not attempt to direct or control the process itself, but rather acts as the space-holder for what naturally unfolds between the different participants in the constellation. This includes avoiding the temptation of giving immediate interpretations or pushing interventions based on her own subjective viewpoints or hidden agendas.
Letting Unconscious Material Come to Light: It is common in Family Constellation Therapy to allow unconscious or hidden material to come to light. Participants are often surprised by what they feel or say, and at the unexpected insights and connections they can make, even if they don’t initially feel open to such surprising insights. It is a mark of the validity of the method, as well as an indication of the system’s wisdom, when participants report surrendering to the work and allowing themselves to be surprised by what they feel or think.
Unbound by Time or Lineage: Third, practitioners place trust in the healing power of the process itself. When deeply held secrets or taboos are brought into the open, and worked with, rather than simply eradicated, the effect can bring depth and gravitas to the ensuing work. As people grasp and engage with the forces of emotional inheritance, they often feel that burden lift, and their own self-understanding improved. In rare instances, healing may even come to a tragic situation through a kind of family reconciliation – a property dispute settled, a spurned daughter welcomed home, a mother able to bear to hear about her teenager’s heartbreak.
Facilitated, Not Manipulated: Although the practitioner sets up the constellation, she has no power over its outcome. She asks participants open-ended questions, invites clients to physically embody the roles they are allowing in systemically (for example, getting on the floor and facing a blank wall), and stays within the dialogue of the constellation by bringing in words and insights when guided by the movement in the group; she does not tell participants what they feel or what ‘should’ happen. This creates an opportunity for participants to embody their wisdom and experience – a process that brings new insight and connection when they can sense ‘the real truth’, as one client eloquently noted once.
Respect for the systemic wisdom: Sometimes, family relationships are complicated, the constellation exposes competing loyalties, unresolved traumas and sometimes unknowingly true emotional lineages. All of these are part of the family system, and families deal with their complexity in their own unique ways. They might be complicated and sometimes unappetising – but if you respect the systemic wisdom of the family, you must respect that the family system is complicated.
In short, respecting the wisdom of the system is respecting the system’s intelligibility, its ability to make sense in its own way, and the possibility that, by participating in the Constellation process, the group will be able to help participants achieve emotional catharsis, heal old conflicts and move toward catharsis. It is the practitioner’s humility that allows them to set aside their own agenda about the client’s needs, and to let the family’s process speak for itself, moving along a trajectory of its own.
7. Post-Session Integration
After the constellation, be sure to debrief the participants. Depending on what they share, you could help them process insights, emotions and other experiences they had. Don’t forget to make sure there’s room for further healing and counselling, if necessary. And finally, send each participant out of the session feeling good, feeling empowered.
Conclusion
In order to preserve Family Constellation Therapy as an effective modality for resolving family issues of abyssal depth, it is important to make sure that therapists who practice it have received thorough training in the method, that they are working in a safe context with respect for the organising principle of the system, and that the substances are provided in a way that honours the wisdom of the system. For those who search the internet, everyone will know how you might choose to share the secret: ‘Just add family’.
